Monday, December 19, 2005

Looking back

I just browsed thru my previous blog and realized how much hassle it took me to purchase my plane ticket going home. In retrospect, I think God never meant for me to go home for the holidays. Could this be a premonition? I don't know and I hope not. Maybe God was whispering to me that day not to buy my ticket coz I won't be going home anyway. Now I realize I was so stupid not to listen.

Just when everything is all set, some stupid crap comes up and ruins everything for you (and hell no, it's not work-related!) ... this one really made me change my mind for good. This is what I hate so much about the holidays. Well, for one traffic sucks real bad. But most especially I hate it when people make use of the holidays to capitalize on a lot of things, even to the point of sacrificing relationships. I just hate that.

Why can't some people be happy for you for once in your life? How can someone you respect and adore turn things around to hurt you? How could someone you love betray you? Why does shit have to happen?

I can go on and on and on and on asking the same questions and I will never ever find the answers. I guess I have one thing to be thankful for and that is having someone close to me to hold on to...someone who is there to dry my tears away and to help me keep my sanity in tact. At this point, this is the only reason I try my hardest to live each day, one day at a time.